after a bit of deliberation, i've decided to close shop.
alicewonder.tumblr.com is the new digs for now...
catch you on the flip side.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
snowin' prosin'.
you can always sense when it has snowed.
you wake up at 8 am, windows flooded with light that speaks of midday, and you sit up, slightly confused at the brightness of it all. the ensuing quiet is telling though, everything is muffled, as if a huge blanket has been placed over the ground. soothing. i was supposed to head up to the mountains today for a small breather from my city, but the snow had other plans. i'm happy though...i've been waiting for this.
so i'm off to take pictures before the snow plows scrape the road to death, but i came across this today and wanted to share.
Forgetfulness
The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion,
the entire novel,
which suddenly becomes one you
have never read,
never even heard of.
as if one by one, the memories you
used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern
hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there
are no phones.
Long ago you kissed the names of
the nine Muses goodbye,
and watched the quadratic equation
pack its bag,
and even now, as you memorize the
order of the planets,
something else is slipping away, a
state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of
Paraguay.
Whatever it is you are struggling to
remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure
corner of your spleen.
It has floated away down a dark
mythological river
whose name begins with an 'L" as far
as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion
where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim
and how to ride a bicycle.
No wonder you rise in the middle of
the night
to look up the date of a famous battle
in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window
seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to
know by heart.
---Billy Collins
you wake up at 8 am, windows flooded with light that speaks of midday, and you sit up, slightly confused at the brightness of it all. the ensuing quiet is telling though, everything is muffled, as if a huge blanket has been placed over the ground. soothing. i was supposed to head up to the mountains today for a small breather from my city, but the snow had other plans. i'm happy though...i've been waiting for this.
so i'm off to take pictures before the snow plows scrape the road to death, but i came across this today and wanted to share.
Forgetfulness
The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion,
the entire novel,
which suddenly becomes one you
have never read,
never even heard of.
as if one by one, the memories you
used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern
hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there
are no phones.
Long ago you kissed the names of
the nine Muses goodbye,
and watched the quadratic equation
pack its bag,
and even now, as you memorize the
order of the planets,
something else is slipping away, a
state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of
Paraguay.
Whatever it is you are struggling to
remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure
corner of your spleen.
It has floated away down a dark
mythological river
whose name begins with an 'L" as far
as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion
where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim
and how to ride a bicycle.
No wonder you rise in the middle of
the night
to look up the date of a famous battle
in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window
seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to
know by heart.
---Billy Collins
Monday, December 29, 2008
Let's Be Predictable.
...otherwise known as MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS.
I never do these, really. I am the queen of making well meaning lists chock full of ambition, and then I promptly forget that I actually wrote it all out. So this year, I'm making a dream board and mounting it on the wall.
I've been having some talks with myself, and I've reached a few conclusions in regards to my life. Most of it includes not settling. A lot of people spend their whole lives constructing an existence they're unhappy with out of fear or they sell themselves short because they don't know their worth. Call me delusional, but when I was younger, I used to play house and I was the successful playwright. I would read articles on young, take-charge actresses and I imagined what my own interview would be like; how I would carefully describe my road to fame, the nuances of my art, my inspirations. Being wildly successful was never a question.
When I became an adult, the fog of doubt seeped in under my door, through the cracks in my windows, in the pockets of people who I thought had my best interests in mind. I began to question myself, my abilities. Where did this come from? What lies did I start believing? When did I start thinking that my dreams were too large, too wide around for me to hold?
So my new years resolution is to...[drum roll, please]
BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
simple, right?
Whatever your new years resolution is, I encourage you to invest in yourself. Be your own best advocate. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, drop the ones who try to poke holes in your dreams.
Blessings to you, wherever you are...may your 2009 be prosperous and an upgrade from 2008 :)
...and don't drink too much champange.
I never do these, really. I am the queen of making well meaning lists chock full of ambition, and then I promptly forget that I actually wrote it all out. So this year, I'm making a dream board and mounting it on the wall.
I've been having some talks with myself, and I've reached a few conclusions in regards to my life. Most of it includes not settling. A lot of people spend their whole lives constructing an existence they're unhappy with out of fear or they sell themselves short because they don't know their worth. Call me delusional, but when I was younger, I used to play house and I was the successful playwright. I would read articles on young, take-charge actresses and I imagined what my own interview would be like; how I would carefully describe my road to fame, the nuances of my art, my inspirations. Being wildly successful was never a question.
When I became an adult, the fog of doubt seeped in under my door, through the cracks in my windows, in the pockets of people who I thought had my best interests in mind. I began to question myself, my abilities. Where did this come from? What lies did I start believing? When did I start thinking that my dreams were too large, too wide around for me to hold?
So my new years resolution is to...[drum roll, please]
BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
simple, right?
Whatever your new years resolution is, I encourage you to invest in yourself. Be your own best advocate. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, drop the ones who try to poke holes in your dreams.
Blessings to you, wherever you are...may your 2009 be prosperous and an upgrade from 2008 :)
...and don't drink too much champange.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Real Life is better than Fiction.
The moment after a complete strangers pulls your life story from thin air is never how you imagine it. There's no bright lights, no sudden epiphanies, no auspicious apparitions. Just awkward silence, and you, nodding in affirmation. Besides, what they tell you is never anything new. It's all shit you already know. Like how you spent 3 1/2 years studying a field you have no intention actually working in.
"There's a girl...a past roommate? Who doesn't like you very much? She's jealous of you..."
Or how a friend of yours secretly hates your guts (not that you really knew that beforehand, but little surprises you these days). This is just confirmation that girls are, largely, two-faced. I have found that my ovaries have given me no insight into the strange, strange world of female politics. A world that honestly, I'd prefer to keep at arms length. But I digress.
Perhaps the most annoying bit about the moment after is their look of "knowing", as if to say "It'll be ok".
"WHAT will be ok???" you want to scream. "How the hell do YOU know?!"
How dare they tell you things of little importance, don't they know there are greater questions you have? For one, am I really as crazy as I think I am? Am I being melodramatic? How do I stop feeling? How do I START to feel again? Do phases really last this long? When will it be over?
But you don't want to turn it into a question-answer $20-a-minute-plus-tarot-reading session. I get this same feeling around celebrities that I actually really like. No matter how badly I want an autograph, or just to say, "Hey, I really really love your performance in that one movie", I keep my mouth shut, and stay occupied with whatever it was I was doing.
So I just smiled and kept playing with the baby, all my questions quickly smothered beneath my feigned indifference.
Be still, my overactive heart.
"There's a girl...a past roommate? Who doesn't like you very much? She's jealous of you..."
Or how a friend of yours secretly hates your guts (not that you really knew that beforehand, but little surprises you these days). This is just confirmation that girls are, largely, two-faced. I have found that my ovaries have given me no insight into the strange, strange world of female politics. A world that honestly, I'd prefer to keep at arms length. But I digress.
Perhaps the most annoying bit about the moment after is their look of "knowing", as if to say "It'll be ok".
"WHAT will be ok???" you want to scream. "How the hell do YOU know?!"
How dare they tell you things of little importance, don't they know there are greater questions you have? For one, am I really as crazy as I think I am? Am I being melodramatic? How do I stop feeling? How do I START to feel again? Do phases really last this long? When will it be over?
But you don't want to turn it into a question-answer $20-a-minute-plus-tarot-reading session. I get this same feeling around celebrities that I actually really like. No matter how badly I want an autograph, or just to say, "Hey, I really really love your performance in that one movie", I keep my mouth shut, and stay occupied with whatever it was I was doing.
So I just smiled and kept playing with the baby, all my questions quickly smothered beneath my feigned indifference.
Be still, my overactive heart.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
TV LAND
Random: I've been watching (on and off) a David Bowie documentary on VH1 Classic, and he just started singing a song with a repetitive refrain that sounds like "sucking your titty". I'm hoping I heard wrong.
As for WHY I suddenly have VH1 Classic (joy to the world), our house recently got wired for FiOS. This means:
1) free long distance on the house phone (don't even ask why we JUST got this)
2) super fantastically fast internet and
3) a million and one channels, 15 of them HD. Now mind you, a chunk of them are going away in 90 days (introductory "let's-see-if-you'll-forget-and-not-
notice-the-extra-$50-on-the-bill scheme), but surprisingly basic cable includes a lot of channels we've never had before. Such as 3 different MTV channels (that ACTUALLY play videos), Style Network, and unedited/undubbed news from 6 different countries (because yes, I like watching French news IN French). I don't watch tv a lot, but believe me, I'll be enjoying the 4 HBO and 3 Stars channels while they last.
I guess I'm telling you all of this to say, if i suddenly drop off the face of the earth, it's because I'm watching rock videos from the 90's. What can I say, I love flannel.
As for WHY I suddenly have VH1 Classic (joy to the world), our house recently got wired for FiOS. This means:
1) free long distance on the house phone (don't even ask why we JUST got this)
2) super fantastically fast internet and
3) a million and one channels, 15 of them HD. Now mind you, a chunk of them are going away in 90 days (introductory "let's-see-if-you'll-forget-and-not-
notice-the-extra-$50-on-the-bill scheme), but surprisingly basic cable includes a lot of channels we've never had before. Such as 3 different MTV channels (that ACTUALLY play videos), Style Network, and unedited/undubbed news from 6 different countries (because yes, I like watching French news IN French). I don't watch tv a lot, but believe me, I'll be enjoying the 4 HBO and 3 Stars channels while they last.
I guess I'm telling you all of this to say, if i suddenly drop off the face of the earth, it's because I'm watching rock videos from the 90's. What can I say, I love flannel.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
tofurkey + cranberry sauce.
clearly i'm supposed to be in the kitchen cutting up onions or something (and the way my moms is, there's much more than that involved)
but!
i wanted to take a moment and wish you kids a happy thanksgiving, even if you don't really celebrate it. have a meal with family, serve takeout chinese food, whatever. spend time with people you care about, tell them how much you love + appreciate them, get mushy. your family (blood or otherwise) is a gift, treasure them.
i'm off to spend some quality time with a pot of greens, see you on the flip side of my food coma.
but!
i wanted to take a moment and wish you kids a happy thanksgiving, even if you don't really celebrate it. have a meal with family, serve takeout chinese food, whatever. spend time with people you care about, tell them how much you love + appreciate them, get mushy. your family (blood or otherwise) is a gift, treasure them.
i'm off to spend some quality time with a pot of greens, see you on the flip side of my food coma.
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